Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Who will rally with the Grand Duke beneath the banners of Stollen?

The missing Princess Valerie of Pillau-Zerbst, who eloped with the recently deceased Prince Ruprecht last year, together with the dastardly French mercenary General Phillip de Latté, has surfaced in the court of Zichenau! Moreover, she has been sighted on the arm of de Latté, who has been found to be in the service of Ruprecht’s mother Princess Antonia of Tauroggen-Fiebus! Princess Antonia assumed the throne of Zichenau last month when her son Ruprecht expired suddenly, following his return from exile in the American colonies.

While we cannot be entirely certain, it would appear that Princess Valerie and Princess Antonia have been consorting with General de Latté all along -- enmeshed within a bizarre and confusing love triangle that has hatched an elaborate scheme to lure Stollen into war on several fronts with the aim of occupying the Grand Duchy and recovering the historically disputed province of Schleiz, which sits between Stollen and the Electorate of Zichenau.

Their plan, according to our reliable sources inside Zichenau, is to, “Boil that half-witted lobster in his own juices and serve him to the King of Prussia garnished with parsley on a platter!”
It would appear that Stollen’s Grand Duke Irwin-Amadeus might find himself at war on at least two fronts by the summer’s end in a few weeks.

Accordingly, the Grand Duke has spent the morning in deep consultation with his closest ministers and advisors. Their aim? To form their own coalition, to counter the efforts of Princess Antonia and her toadies should the need arise. Who among the states of apocryphal 18th century Europe will answer the call?

On a related note, Irwin-Amadeus II appeared rather unexpectedly before the session, dressed in an unmistakably dark blue, full-skirted general’s coat, complete with orders and decorations across the chest. Might the Grand Duke’s apparent feeble mindedness have been an elaborate ruse? Time will indeed tell. Perhaps action on the field of Mars will demonstrate the Grand Duke's grasp on reality. . .

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