Villagers off the Northern coast of Scotland last night saw a fleet in great difficulties. A number of vessels were sunk and wreckage thrown upon the beach. No further information is available at this time.
13 hours ago
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Despite the efforts of the local constabulary, salvagers and wreckers began congregating along the strand all morning, gathering up the many intact herring barrels and ladies corsets which washed up along most of the Sutherland beaches.
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"Your Majesty, I know that you like to hear of tragedies. We have reports of a shipwrecked fleet off of Scotland."
"That's where they all wear skirts, isn't it?"
"I believe so, Your Majesty."
"So, was the fleet sunk by guile or sabotage?"
"I believe it was just a storm, Your Majesty."
"Well, where is the fun in that? I'm not interested in accidents that ARE accidents . . . just those that aren't."
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