Wednesday, August 1, 2007

To all decent peoples of Uropa

It has come to our attention that the Vile Stagonians (Vile, that's their title, right?) have been threatening Tippelbruder, source of fine uniforms for many of our nations. The Soweiter League has also been threatened by the same Villains. We have expressed our intent to defend our own sovereignty against invasion or usurpation and reiterate that intent here.
We further hereby declare our intent to support Tippelbruder with whatever aid we can provide. As we are a small and newly formed league we will likely require all forces we can muster to defend our own territory, but rest assured we will supply any wigs, musical instruments, cases of Donnybrook ale, casks of Bordelleaux wine, Saxe-Goldberg cuckoo clocks and any other support we can provide in aid of other free and decent nations threatened by the Vile Stagonians.

Our only wish is for peace and prosperity throughout Urope,
Your Humble Servant,
Zurik Fitz-Badger
Mayor of Soweiterstadt


Stagonian Jeff said...

Be careful of what you wish for. We have word that you are holding my pig of a nephew prisoner . . . that you have even posted a painting of him.

Now THAT is VILE! But do you hear us speaking of the Vile Soweiters?

Send your piddling army where you want, SOWeiter squirrel. We are strong enough to accomplish our will.

We DEMAND that you release our nephew, Georg du Vile, from your zoo of a prison . . . and mend your accusatory ways.

-- Koenig Maurice

Bluebear Jeff said...

Koenig Maurice,

Didn't you read the heading for that post? You know, the part about "to all decent peoples" . . .

If you'd seen that, why did you continue reading? It obviously wasn't addressed to you.

Only a vile person would . . . oh, I see.

Attack the Tippelbruders if you'd like another sharp lesson taught to your troops. They are under our protection.

-- Furst Bruno von Ursa

Frankfurter said...

Frankszonia has already started to reposition its forces to aid Soweiter in this crisis. Our forces are mustering for a quick march to occupy Offenbak Am Main for its protection from this vile aggression ...
l'Marquis de Hottatrot
on behalf of His Grace
Stanken Fahrtz, Hurtshog of Frankszonia.

Frankfurter said...

To the Koenig Maurice:
Perhaps the solution to this contretemps can be found in your comment "zoo of a prison". I'd suggest that given the description of the missing person, he was not recognized as human and taken to a zoo as one of the lesser apes? After all, that's always been our impression of the various specimens of Stagonian we've encountered. If so, then perhaps the zoo would cheerfully exchange what is bound to be a difficult beast for a reasonable honoraium?

Fitz-Badger said...

As for the pig in question we are awaiting the imminent arrival of a small scientific expedition from Tradgardland to determine if it is, as they suspect, a Tradgardian boar rather than a Stagonian boar as was initially reported.

As history will note the Tradgardians respectfully asked for admittance of their small expedition. Meanwhile the Stagonians (I thought Vile was a proud title for your country as they seem to be so often linked) started off with threats of violence and invasion. As well, no proof has been presented to verify that the pig in question is indeed your nephew. If proof is proferred we will be pleased to peruse it. Indeed we would be happy to submit to an impartial court comprised of members of other reasonable nations and if it prooves the pig is your nephew we will be quite happy to release him to you with all due respect and honors.

On another note, the Soweiter squirrel is a noble beast so we thank you for the compliment.