Thursday, May 17, 2007

A Faux Versailles, Somewhere in Alzheim

A terrain is laid out on a large table.

It groans all the while under the weight of all the hills and valleys laid out in dampish sand. Streams and ponds and so forth are finely shredded blue paper.

Figures by Meistersilber.

"Ah-ha" cries his Majesty in triumph. "Caught you there von Browne you old devil! I bet you never expected my Cuirassiers to be lurking behind that hill!"

"No indeed, your Majesty", says old von Browne. "But did your Highness note my Croats in that spinney yonder? What do you think of that, eh Bauer?"

"I am sure His Majesty will riposte in a most effective wise in the fullness of time. Now, gentlemen, some light refreshment? Where is Schmundt with those sweetmeats? Schmundt? You, blaggard, idling as usual! Ha! Shall I cuff him Your Majesty?"

"By all means Bauer, deliver the fellow three solid buffets! Stint not your blows! You see Keith? That's how to keep the idlers and shirkers in line! Eh! What! (Strike on Bauer) "

And so he does and with such a will that the bumbling Schmundt tumbles, quaking and tearful into the table.

"Oh, blast my breeks! The fellow's knocked the table over. Imbecile! Conduct the Generalfeldmarschall hence that he may have the sand brushed from his coat!"

"Your Majesty, really, I am quite all right..."

"No, no Keith, I do insist!. Bauer will set the table for us that we may take up later; I assure you my memory of our respective dispositions is quite exact."

"Your Majesty."

"My dear Generalfeldmarschall."

Bauer walks over, a silver Grenadier in his hand, bayonet rather curled over. "Your Majesty has the same way with the soldiers as the King of the Prussians."

"Why thank-you Bauer. You are really quite a usefull fellow yourself."


Poruchik said...

There of course has been a nasty rumor circulating that some members of the staff in Alzheim are in fact in the pay of Vulgaria!

Rumor only of course!


Bloggerator said...


Bauer, you'd never take the coin of another Prince, would you, eh?

See! Ha! He's shaking his head and blushing modestly.

We Alzheimers are a bluff, hearty fold, to honest to be trapped by the Orientalist coils of Vulgaria!

Augustus Rex,
King in Alzheim

Bloggerator said...

That's "Folk" of course.

Bluff, hearty folk.


Bluebear Jeff said...

Bluff, hearty folk who are too honest to be trapped by the Orientalist coils of Vulgaria may instead become beguiled by the false camaraderie of those Vile French-loving Stagonians.

We of Saxe-Bearstein pray that the good Duchy of Alzheim remain stout in heart when faced with the foulness that is Stagonia.

(Okay, we're a bit prejudiced because they are our traditional enemies; but they are Vile and they do seem to ape the French as well . . . certainly they are not fit company for stout, good-hearted Germans.)

-- Jeff of Saxe-Bearstein

Poruchik said...

Hmmmmm, and as I recall it is the very French that those rascally Alzheimers honor and in fact mimic the French.

The only empires truly worthy of imitation are those that are based on good solid Slavic values.

Bloggerator said...

Alzheim follows her own Interest.

That interest may lie with Stagonia, or Saxe-Bearstein or even with the overbearing and secretive Oligarchs of Vulgaria.

Nonetheless, that is a matter for the Prince of Alzheim and his Secret Cabinet.

Augustus II Rex
King in Alzheim

Post Script. Our Coats may be White, but we are by no means Lily-Livered.