Monday, May 21, 2007

Dispatch to the Grand Duke of Stollen

My Dear Grand Duke
A joyous and grand felicitation.
My retinue and I are now only about 30 days march from your fair capitol, being now in Krakow staying at the local South of the Border Inn. Having had my diplomats report back we understand that there are a number of fair maidens available for marriage, we are looking for a new wife to take back to the Re-constituted Byzantium and to remain in friendship with Stollen thereafter. A month ago a fleet with supplies was sent to a port nearest you so that my retinue does not over stay our welcome in your fair country. We have been collecting horses along the route from Constantinople our entire retinue is now mounted. We have sent to Russia to purchase hay and grain that will soon be delivered in our name to your fair capitol and our engineers will be constructing a magazine for it in a place of your choosing when they arrive with our supplies.
We have sent to Vienna for a supply of Danish (or as the Danes say Vienna Bread) to enjoy with our captured Turkish Coffee.
We look forward to meeting with you to discuss an alliance and marriage.
Protector of the Divine Mistress
Bob XXI of Re-constituted Byzantium

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