Sunday, July 22, 2007

An Official Announcement from Monte-Cristo

We, Louys, by Heirdom and Election POPP of Monte-Cristo, have the pleasure to announce that a special representation of Purcell's Faerie Queene will open the Season Festival of the Open Air Opera, among the roses and mimosas. We take this opportunity to remind People of High Breed, Wealth and Culture, that our famous thermal baths are again open to the discerning visitors. Traditional water cures using the hot thermal springs are now complemented by a whole range of nursings using the sea water and its products : exotic massages with sea mud, immersion in warm seaweed…what the modern doctors call ‘thalassotherapy’. And no healing sojourn in Monte-Cristo would be complete without an abundant consumption of our famous ‘MC Green’, a very strong liqueur and medecine, requiring 3 years of maturation (and at least 80% alcohol) following a recipe elaborated a millenium ago by holy monks devoted to the Welfare of Humankind. The range of illness cured is incredibly wide, and besides it is renowned as a sovereign help to digest heavy meals or disturbing surprises.
The heavenly weather of Monte-Cristo makes it the Pearl of the Cote d’Azur; the local specialities of candied fruits, pralines and nougat, accompanied by our typical Anised Absinth long drink and our bubbly rosé, provide an important contribution to the pleasure of our Guests. Additionally, our admirable sujects traditionally grow a peculiar smoking herb (not tobacco) with proven medicinal and relaxing properties. All in all, foreigners discover how much this little paradise is propitious to quiet conversations and peaceful, unpassionate exchanges. Tension, aggressivity soon disappear here. No surprise that the Constitution of our Presipality takes up only two short articles : -art.1 : Do no harm to your fellow man, -art.2 : This fairly understood, live as you wish. Art. 2 fully protects the intimacy of your Guests’ private life and dealings, as long as they do not make themselves obnoxious enough to blatantly transgress art. 1.
In the glamorous rooms of our Casino one will chance upon many interesting Characters and Personalities. Huge amounts of gold change hands daily here as gambling debts.
Totally renovated, the Paris H. (pronounce : Parish) Palace Hostel had been rebuilt according to the best local tradition to keep unclement weather and annoying noises from disturbing our Guests, i.e. with inner walls as extremely thick as the outer ones. Numerous boudoirs, smoking rooms and lounges (with free marquisetta, punch or sangria according to the day) are at the disposal of our Guests, all with several padded double doors opening in different corridors. The staff is chosen by the Presipality for its total discretion, ‘deaf and mute’ being the motto.
The Presipapal Bank for Sustainable Development and Constantly Increasing Profit is fully characerized by two keywords : Security and Secrecy. A complex system of multiple passages and double stairs insures that within the building you’ll only meet (and be seen by) employees of guaranteed total discretion. Additionally, a system of underground passages allows, if wished, to enter and leave the Bank from several innocent shops nearby.
A note of warning: according to the Law of Monte-Cristo « ugliness rather than nudity being obscene », young and faily built people can go all naked (though most still wear shoes, and some form of head protection against the sun at its hottest) : this is the traditional costume of the youth, weather permitting. Reciprocally, the whole year around people can wear masks as during the Venice Carnival, nobody would even notice it (by the way, the Mardi Gras parade on Monte-Cristo Bourbon Street is not to be missed).
While discretion obviously forbides to mention names, more than thirty-seven Personages of High Birth and Influence, coming from more than twenty-two Uropean Courts, are announced for the Opening of the Baths Season. Philosophs of insatiable curiosity such as Lady Pettygree, the Chevalier d’Eon and Milady de Winter a rumored to appear soon. It is hoped that such characters who, for professional reasons, tend to meet and interact in remote points of our planet such as the Bahamas, will find how much more convenient it is be to go no further than Monte-Cristo.
In the name of the Country and the People of Monte-Cristo, we, Louys, warmly welcome our Visitors.


abdul666 said...

Currently without blog or website, I take the liberty to, exceptionally, transgess the rules of the EvE blog to shortly describe why and how I devised this micro-country (Jeff, feel free to delete this ‘comment’ if you think it sets a dangerous precedent!).
Monte-Cristo is not intented to be an ‘active’ member of the Emperor vs Elector campaign, merely to provide a setting where agents (official, unofficial and officially denied) of the ‘real’ countries can occasionally meet and interact in any way (overt or covert, from mutually beneficial exchanges to assassination). Perhaps some umpire-controlled free lancers could perturbate the Game?
Real world models were: –the Bahamas (memories of James Bond movie[s]) with a sprinkling of Caiman Islands; –Liechtenstein as a miniature version of Switzerland, where the secret preliminary meetings can take place before any official Geneva conference; –Monaco for the climate and general location, the Casino and the fruitfull ‘warmly friend to all belligerents’ type of neutrality. That all three models are fiscal havens and industrial dirty money laundries is more than coincidental.
The peculiar mores and laws of Monte-Cristo (the constitution, the casual nudity of the youth) come straight from a ‘frivolous’ novel «Les aventures du Roi Pausole» published in 1901 by french writer Pierre Louÿs – an ode to freedom and an humorous but fierce attack against excessive prudishness, puritanism and bigotry. I omitted some particulars such as the ruler’s 366 wives (because of leap years).
The word ‘Presipality’ come from the french satiric TV series « Groland ».
I posted a preliminary description of the recent history, economics and politics of Monte-Cristo (the Casino & smoking herb not included yet) on the SOCDAISY group.

Bluebear Jeff said...

As "Owner" (so called) of "Emperor vs Elector" I try to keep a very "hands off" approach.

There's nothing wrong with an 18th century "Switzerland-equivalent" as far as I can see.

One of the reasons that Saxe-Bearstein has been (and most likely will continue) sitting on the fence as far as the Gallia / Germania war is that I don't wish to appear to "take sides".

On the other hand, Stagonia is pretty much vile toward everyone . . . but I try to keep it amorphous enough so as not to cause any permanent damage.

Jean-Louis, keep right on posting, I've no problems with it . . . except that I will encourage you to add blank lines between paragraphs to make it easier for my old eyes to read.

-- Jeff