Thursday, September 20, 2007

To: Tradgardland, Monte Christo, and Other Territories of Imaginary 18th Century Europe

From: Representatives of the Grand Duchy of Stollen

At this point in time, the Grand Duchy of Stollen wishes to preserve, further, and maintain peaceful relations with (most of) its neighbors in Apocryphal 18th Century Europe. For now, our collective troubles and challenges lie closer to home with the scheming and bellicose Princess Antonia of the Electorate of Zichenau on our southern frontier, who covets the slice of territory known as the Mark of Schleiz, long ago lost to Stollen in the War of 1693 and contested ever since.

Indeed, as many of you are aware, we have had a small expeditionary force stationed along the Greater Zwischen River in the Mark of Schleiz for most of the summer, in an observer role. Our officers there report that there has been a gradual build-up of white-coated Zichenauer forces across the river. At present, our generals and Grand Duke Irwin-Amadeus II are struggling both day and night in Krankenstadt Palace, debating ways to meet and repel any threat emanating from the Electorate of Zichenau. We trust that you understand our immediate concerns, which must take precedence over any relations and commitment of troops further a field.

As for our Grand Duke. . . Recent weeks have shown a dramatic improvement in his demeanor. Indeed, he seems to have largely abandoned his lobster costume in favor of his blue-coated general’s uniform. How long this change will last is a question we have left to the Grand Duke’s personal physician; however, we are hopeful that our ruler’s lucidity will last until the question of Princess Antonia and her claim to the Mark of Schleiz has been resolved. . . one way or the other.

We Remain Your Humble Servants,

Herr Udo Dirkschneider von Pfeffernuβe, Foreign Minister

Herr Hans Karl von Wilkowiczeske, Senior Member of the Stollenian Cabinet

Herr Heinrich-Schatzi von Pelznikkel, Minister of War


Der Alte Fritz said...

Let us not forget the ever popular place called "The Mark of Zorro". Is that anywhere near Zichenau?

Stagonian Jeff said...

"Baron, we are seriously less than pleased by the lack of results from 'Operation Lobster Claw'."

"It did look so promising, Your Majesty."

"Perhaps we need to take a more decisive role. Contact the Electorate of Zichenau; see if they would be willing to hire some of our troops."

"I'm sure that they would, Your Majesty . . . but could they afford them?"

"Baron, isn't it your job to make sure that they can? See to it. Oh, get what you can for them, but be sure that they hire our 'frei corps'."

"Of course, Your Majesty."

(conversation overheard from outside a door in the palace of that vilest of nations.)

abdul666 said...

Hopefully the Stagonian rented 'frei corps' will be as coloful as the Trunkenbold Freikorps hired by
Freistadt Tippelbruder.

Then a frei (female) corps along these lines:
would arise less suspicion if travelling in civilian clothes
(but perhaps too much interest?).

Who will dare to rent a Zombies Frei Corpse?