Thursday, January 22, 2009

Not so sobering news...

Prinz Geoffrey was just finishing a lunch of Risotto Nero and white wine when his most-trusted advisor Detlev entered the dining room. Detlev bowed from the neck and approached the Prinz with a bound satchel. The Prinz gestured for his advisor to sit. Detlev, immaculately dressed as usual placed the satchel on the table and spoke, “Your first order of diplomats have been dispatched and I have brought you a list of suitable candidates for the diplomatic order, and information concerning the civilized courts which we have exchanged correspondence with but currently maintain no permanent presence.” Prinz Geoffrey leaned close, “Detlev, could you pleashz tell us again, why diplomzy with our allies and kinsmen is of such importanz, surely we do not need to spy on our friends?” Detlev could smell the Pinot on the Prinz’s breath. “If only he showed as much interest in governing” Detlev thought. The advisor adjusted his vest and explained, “Your Lordship, do you remember the old Monte-Cristan proverb; Tell me whom he frequents and I will tell you who he is.”? “It is about courtesans, yes?” the Prinz said with a naughty smile. Detlev provided a polite smile and continued, “It has been interpreted that way yes, however, our diplomats in the court of such civilized company does a great deal for Cavenderia’s image and influence.” The Prinz leaned back looking bored, “well then we shooze continue diplomzy, let us see your lisht.” Detlev untied the documents and began to read the names,

“Bernardino Alberti, this man is one of the wittiest poets I have ever had the pleasure of listening to, he will be dispatched to Tradgardland. We have heard reports that the court is need of some entertainment.”

“Kaspar Maynard, a man with the unique ability to disseminate his vast scholarly knowledge in a concise and coherent manner enabling even the less learned in the room to feel at ease conversing and learning from him. He will be dispatched to Hesse-Seewald, were he may further his studies of northern culture.”

“Lucio Bianco, is known for his pleasant demeanor and devotion to the Catholic Church, his family has been in this land pre-dating the Imperium. His even temper and ability to diffuse a situation have made him an ideal candidate for your diplomatic corp. Signori Bianco will be sent to Frankszonia.

“Goffredo Tedesco, a brilliant writer, his novelettes have earned quite a fortune and following. Already his readers are protesting his departure, however, he feels the opportunity to study in Hetzenberg will only make his writing better.”

“Tomaso Fontana Tartaglia, perhaps our most inspiring linguist, he seamlessly converses in over 12 languages. His command of language makes him very valuable as a diplomat. Signori Tartaglia had plans of studying in Bizerrca and was preparing to leave when hostilities between the Imperium and the Dey began, thus making it unsafe for any Christian to travel there, instead he will be dispatched to the Duchy of Pfalz Kognat Obersayn.”

“Baldassarre Pergolesi, is renowned for his singing voice and charm, due to his rising fame I was somewhat surprised when he approached us for a diplomatic posting to the Soweiter League, however rumor has it that he has his eye on a particular lady of the court in that land.”

“Patronelle Danis has the grace and appearance of an angel, her beauty has earned her the adoration of many a nobleman, yet none have tamed her. Combining beauty and free-will is a recipe for envy, with the concoction fermenting in the bosom of scorned lovers and scheming courtesans. Recently, rumors have arisen that she has secretly been involved with thespians, it is even been said that she played the main character in the Flight of the Duchess, a new comedy being performed in Miso. I can think of no other more suitable candidate for Diplomat to Monte-Cristo.”

“Finally, Gabriele Carosone, a formidable scholar and copyright clerk, it is said that he is using his time in the publications office to write a definitive study of the Social History of Skalds, he will be sent to the Grand Duchy of Stollen.”

“If it pleases his lordship, we will start acquiring the paper work for your new diplomats”, Detlev looked up from his papers to find the Prinz asleep, his head tilted forward his wig slightly akimbo. Detlev gave the Prinz a slight nudge, “Yes, we look forward to entertaining!” the Prinz said nearly hitting his head on the table. “If you will just sign these documents my lord I will leave you to your studies.” The Prinz reached for the quill, “We truly appreciate your devotion and council.” “I say Detlev, have you heard the latest rumors about Lady Danis?”


A J Matthews said...

The Court of the Grand Duke of Hetzenberg will extend a warm welcome to Signor Tedesco. Grand Duchess Irma is quite an admirer of his works and looks forward to discussing them with the maestro himself.

Bluebear Jeff said...


Years ago I remember reading about a woman candidate who lost her election when her opponent revealed just before the election that the woman was an admitted "thespian" (which was true -- she acted on stage) . . . of course she lost because a lot of voters thought she was a "lesbian".

I wish these new diplomats good fortune.

-- Jeff

Fitz-Badger said...

The Soweiter League will be pleased to welcome ambassador to our humble court.

We shall have to find a suitable candidate to send to your court in return.

(now the court is a-buzz with speculation on which member of the fair sex has caught your ambassador's attention - could it be the Duchess of Grand Thidwick?)

Herzog Ignaz said...

We hope Sr. Tartaglia will reach Hunsruck in time for the commencement of the Fasching festivities after Septuagesima Sunday--a trade mission specialising in Venetian Carnival masks would no doubt make a pretty Groschen for the new ambassador..

abdul666 said...

The Palace and the whole Presipality feel honoured and will warmly welcome Lady Danis. Monte-Cristo is without prejudices against '-ians' of many kinds.

We salute Herr Detlev's tact, taste and sagacity. His wisdom indeed goes deeper than one may think. While greatly appreciating many aspects of Monte-Cristan culture, such as the lack of any sexism / machism, foreign women are generally less... mesmerized (and thus made easily influenced) by the atmosphere.

Frankfurter said...

To: Prince of Cavenderia,
From: the Hurtshog Stanken Fahrtz von Frankfurter

RE: Diplomatic Exchanges.

Frankszonia will be delighted to welcome Herr Bianco with a grand Barbeque, a Te Deum Toast, and an Holy Mackerel Fish Fry!

Gaudeamus Igitur

L'Comte Beauphaup on behalf of the Hurtshog

andygamer said...

I just googled 'black risotto' and discovered something new. Squid/ cuttlefish ink is used. Hmmm.