Sunday, February 24, 2008

A response to the Hurtshog

I am instructed by Her Excellency Princess Ulrike Louise von Solms-Braunfels, Regent of Hesse-Homburg to deliver the following to the Hurtshog of Frankszonia,

The Regent notes with regret that the Hurtshog has not taken into account the wretched condition of the delivery service between his besotted postmaster and the gout-stricken excuse that my dear departed and much-lamented husband foisted upon his son and regent.

Although our cleaving to the Empress' bosom is in no way connected to the Hurtshog's questionable motives, we find it interesting that he so quickly contacted the rogue so-called Landgraf of Fedora, who is known to have at least a brigade of the Markgraf of Brandenburg's troops quartered with his own rebellious legions. Perhaps the Hurtshog's declared love of the Empress is but a vile strategem to penetrate the secrets of Her Imperial Majesty's true adherents?

If the Hurtshog is indeed sincere in his request for a rapprochement with Homburg, we have recently replaced the previous Homburger postmaster and invite a reply.

In the service of Her Imperial Majesty and the Regent of Homburg,
Blei-Sammeln, Feldmarschallieutenant

4 comments:

abdul666 said...

Action, action, and new troops to discover!

Frankfurter said...

To the Princess Ulrike Louise von Solms-Braunfels, Regent of Hesse-Homburg.

It is a great sorrow for the Court of Frankszonia that our high ideals that the autonomous princes of the Reich be freed from this continual exploitation and violation by the greater powers. We ourselves suffer from the presence of a foreign army within our lands which greatly outnumbers those brave men who could rally to our free traditions.

Furthermore, we find it ironic that your principality doubts our loyalty to the Empress. Even though the product of the Wieners are notoriously inferior to our Frankfurters, we have hosted her officials, provided our requisite companies for the Reichsarmee, and even collaborated with her Gallian allies. All of this has caused great distress among our good merchants and artisans; and indeed, we have noticed that many individuals who have fled here because of their resistance to this program, individuals with family ties to Germanian military, have recently sought employment in the new formations the Empress has subsidized in your city.

Furthermore, our early recognition of Hesse Fedora was based upon an already existing friendship between the Hurtshog Stanken and their Duke. Given the presence of enemies of our state in your new regiments and the already existing ties of friendship with Hesse Fedora, the Frankfurter Bun agrees with the Hurtshog that the proposal of a treaty of non-interference is most urgent. Given that the Reich has concluded an armistice with Germania, without such an agreement, popular sentiment among our populace might erupt into a state of hostilities with you. Yet, you are very close neighbors to us, and since our guilds are more concerned with trade while yours appear to be more concerned with marketing agricultural products, such hostilities would be horribly tragic.

For the good of his people and the furtherance of the security and prestige of what we hope will emerge as a new Rhine league, the Hurtshog has accepted the personal pain and ignomy that maintaining a neutral stance in the impending conflict will cause him.
Moreover, given that the Cheesers appear to be mustering forces again, it appears very probable that our completely unrelated conflicts will result in our regiments maneuvering in general proximity to each other. An agreement that your forces will not intervene in our conflict and an agreement that our forces will sorrowfully endure the infamy of standing back from your struggle should actually reduce the inevitable desolation which these conflicts must create.

Sincerely,
L’Comte de Beauphaup
on behalf of the Frankfurter Bun
and the Hurtshog Fahrtz v. Frankfurter

(personal note to the Princess from the Hurtshog,
Having been blessed with a good marriage, I find myself inattentive to the cleavage of my neighboring potentates and suzerain ... as I’ve never heard a disparaging word from the young rogues around my palace, I’d assume that you both are quite satisfactorily complementary ...
My own princess sends her regards,
Stinky)

Ed Youngstrom said...

Dear Stinky,

Thank you for the personal note. My commander-in-chief, von Blei-Sammeln, may have overreacted to the news of your communication with "that man" Bogart.

I appreciate your offer of non-interference, so that we can both concentrate on the threats to our homelands (Cheesers in your case, Fedoras in mine). I have therefore directed my new Ambassador to put his signature to the treaty at once.

Say hi to Edie for me. The relish and mustard she sent along were excellent.

Ta,
Ulli

Frankfurter said...

L'Comte de Roquefort has been sighted conferring with the Imperial advisor to the Princess, von Blei-Sammeln, .....